Monday, February 20, 2017

How to Properly Jaywalk

One does not simply jaywalk.  When it comes to committing an infraction, you must take into consideration your location. 

You do not jaywalk in a place such a NYC.  One, you will have a heavier penalty if you jaywalk in such a place, and two, it’s much more dangerous.  That’s why you receive a higher penalty.

In a small town, up to somewhere the size of a medium sized city, jaywalking can be undertaken. 

Before I say how to jaywalk properly, everyone should already know how to cross the street.  If you don’t look both ways, stop reading this blog.  You don’t belong here.

To properly cross the street at a non-crosswalk, you cannot look like you are waiting to cross the street.  Yes, you must get close to the edge and wait for an opening.  But, should an officer of the law be in a close proximity to catch you in the act, you don’t want to blatantly appear to be waiting to cross. 

Find a pole, tree, or what-have-you, and take a lean.  Put your hand in your pocket, look at the clouds, whistle.  All the while, you are waiting for your opportunity. 

Do be sure that your last look before going isn’t a double take for the Man.  It’s better to have been caught safely jaywalking than to be caught being smoked by a Mazda.

Check for cops, find your opening, fly like a jaybird.

Have I ever been given a citation for jaywalking? No. Have I ever spoken to anyone who’s been given a citation for jaywalking? No.  How do I know that the crime of jaywalking isn’t a myth?  How can I be sure?  Without anecdotal evidence, my doubt lingers…

Please jaywalk properly.

Please Comment/Share/Discuss/Like/Subscribe!
Don't forget to support on Patreon!
Shema Humata: Tass Sheshco

No comments:

Post a Comment