Sometimes I'm aware that I'm aware. I find myself from time to time in Meta-Reality. This is great when I'm in an amazing place like Washington, DC or NYC. It's also no so great when I'm in the middle of a conversation or giving a presentation.
In the places of awe, it's a convenient thing, being meta, because you can really take in where you are and reality becomes fictionalized. I get that feeling of, "Am I really here, like, is this reality actually a thing. Existence exists and I'm in it."
Like I said, in a fun place, thats a cool thought. But during a conversation, it's horrible because I then lose all train of thought. The topic is lost in space, followed by my responding, "yeah" "totally" "right" to whatever is being said. It's even worse in a public speaking sort of situation.
That's probably why I fear public speaking so much. I'm afraid I might go into Meta-Think. Then because I'm worried about it, I do. Ugh. I my presentation game in university was par to sub-par, mostly because I was usually un-prepared for them. Then that helped cause Meta-Think to kick in. My most successful presentation senior year was when I did it in character.
The topic was Cromwell in Ireland, done in a fantastic Irish accent. I think I received a B- on it, but got an A+ for my performance.
Anyway, I was reading Scott Adam's book, How to Fail at Almost Everthing and Still Win Big, today on my lunch break. I don't want to give away much of the book, because I recommend you read it. But there was a chapter were Scott described himself about to go on stage, and he described the feelings and build up. That moment when you're being introduced and about to go up and take the stage is the worst butterfly ridden nervous moment, for me at least. And therefore, as I sat in a cafe reading a BOOK, my heart started to beat and my stomach fluttered. It was as if I was about to go on stage, good grief.
So back to the idea of Meta-Thinking. Later on, on my ride home today, I caught myself Meta-Meta-Thinking. I was thinking about how I Meta-Think too much. "Jeez, he doesn't even have a chance" I thought to myself.
Let me paint a picture of what you just read above. In the paragraph above I wrote about how I reacted to myself in third person, thinking about Meta-Thinking. Now you're reading about me explaining that you're reading my description of third person reaction to thinking about meta-thinking.
This is quite Meta isn't it.
Share, comment, comment about yourself commenting, go on stage and present the Bithiyan if you'd like, just don't Meta-Think while up there.